i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
