Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
