i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
