dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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