I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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