also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
