then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
