I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Two words: blizzard sex
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
