would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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