Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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