i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
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