hotel room ftw
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
