i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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