I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize