so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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