We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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