this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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