Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
