im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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