Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
