upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
