Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
