Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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