dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
It's just like the Real World with babies
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
