# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
