Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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