kristin has been a bad kristin
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
