..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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