you guys were way drunker than both of me
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
