Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
