I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
