he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
