im about as happy as oj after his trial
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
