I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
True college students do jello shots in the library
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
