My boss' voice literally gives me gas
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
