She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
