in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
