the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
