i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
