The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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