So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize