i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
