There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
