ADVERTISEMENT

• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?

  Fav 26 1120 3974

  share tweet
  

• (850): View more from Florida

  hey. who tried to drive me home last night?

  (904): View more from Florida

  not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?

  (850): View more from Florida

  i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.

  Fav 33 22362 2584

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (703): View more from Virginia

  so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.

  Fav 26 10728 1909

  share tweet
  

• (586): View more from Michigan

  You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"

  Fav 19 6263 3070

  share tweet
  

• (216): View more from Ohio

  I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.

  Fav 15 868 3202

  share tweet
  

• (914): View more from New York

  The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"

  Fav 11 6384 2529

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (808): View more from Hawaii

  I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.

  Fav 4 1095 1854

  share tweet
  

• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.

  Fav 13 3041 986

  share tweet
  

• (773): View more from Illinois

  by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?

  Fav 3 1330 782

  share tweet
  

• (775): View more from Nevada

  The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  At least you got your shooes

  Fav 7 2118 932

  share tweet
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.

  Fav 4 1108 736

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (845): View more from New York

  I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.

  Fav 3 1039 564

  share tweet
  

• (732): View more from New Jersey

  For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love

  Fav 1 1189 576

  share tweet
  

• (740): View more from Ohio

  so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls

  Fav 3 456 411

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (512): View more from Texas

  It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.

  Fav 0 48 8

  share tweet
  

Randomize