Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
