So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
