Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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