capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
