no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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