I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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