Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
