Got a toothbrush?
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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