trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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