Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
