I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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