wat bout pragnant strippers??
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
