Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize