My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
