I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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