Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
