I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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