I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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