So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize