the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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