We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
