Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize