I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize