its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
