We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
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