We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
