I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
