Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
