giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
