put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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