if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
